A New Day

Well, I've been down and out for quite a while. I think I've said this before, but it has made it easier all these long months of waiting to just keep this adoption tucked within my heart than to constantly talk about it. It is never far from my thoughts but, somehow, to talk about it brings more pain than anything. I know I am a bummer most of the time on this blog, but I'm just being real. I apologize if I depress you with my thoughts, but that's just where I've been most of the time during this journey: pensive, concerned, eager, disappointed, contemplative, etc. However, there have been many joys also. The two biggest joys have been to see the way this adoption and the subsequent journey have changed my family and also to see children being united with their forever families! I can not wait until the day I not only see a picture of my child(ren) but hold her/them as well. It seems so close, yet so far away.
We've now crossed into the realm of possiblity of referral with our 7 months waiting mark. Note I did not say probability. :) It feels very scary and exhilirating and surreal all at the same time.
I do want to note one thing that I have not shared so far. Our family has a heart for older children. From the beginning, we desired to adopt older children for one simple reason: not many people do. These are precious souls waiting and waiting and waiting for a mom and dad to change thier lives and give them a family and a home. We are young, however. And we have young kids as well. These two factors are actually considered "red flags" for our social worker and agency. I understand why: a lot can be messed up when you mess with birth order and you have two young parents navigating the rough waters. Not to over-simplify, though, but we feel that with God all things are possible. All He needs is willingness and obedience and He can do what man can not. That being said, we want to watch for God's guidance because we fully believe that He has already chosen the children who will be ours. Please pray for us as we walk this journey of faith. We can not do it alone. Thank you.