Our Daughter's Name

We are aiming to adopt one daughter but we are open to two daughters as well, if it is the Lord's will. We have decided on a name for our daughter and if we have two, we will choose another at that time. We wanted to keep her name of African origin, although not necessarily Ethiopian. We chose the names based upon meaning- we knew what we wanted her name to mean and we found names accordingly. We have chosen:
Nya (n-I-uh) which means "Purpose" and it is African in origin
Abrihet (au-bree-ett) which means "She emanates light" and it is Ethiopian in origin

So, Nya Abrihet, we are on our way to you! We love you!

Is Adoption anything like pregnancy? Not for me!!!!!

I am one of those people who has adoption in their DNA. It's true. I can not think of a time in my life when I did not want to adopt. In fact, as a child, when I imagined what serving God looked like for me- it was working in an orphanage. The plight of the orphan has always weighed heavily on me. I don't mean to make myself sound like a Pollyanna, that is certainly not the case. People are moved by different things and, for me, it is children who are in need.
I say all of that to get to the point that I thought I knew what adoption, the actual process, would be like. I saw the images on adoptive parenting blogs and books of an ultrasound picture with the country of origin in place of a baby. I heard the references of adoption being like a pregnancy. That has not been my experience at all. Don't get me wrong- I see the correlations. It is just that my adoption experience has been so much more spiritual and powerful than my pregnancies. I don't think I have ever cried so much in my life (admittedly, this does sound like the raging hormones of gestation. However, I am crying for a reason rather than because of a particularly poignant Hallmark commercial or because my well-meaning hubby made a comment about my swollen feet needing a rub!)
I find myself completely broken by God. I shamefully admit that when I dreamed of adoption years ago, I thought of it in shades of ME! How I would feel, what I would do, how it would enrich my life were sadly the extents of my adoption fantasies. Boy, how that has changed. All I can think of now is my children- my sons who are home with me now and my daughter who is in another country. God is showing me, upon invitation, how very little this has to do with me. He loves me- yes. He is giving me the desires of my heart- yes. But I am beginning to realize that He put those desires there in the first place. I am living in His will and it is amazing.
For me, pregnancy was very natural. Although it was spiritual at times, like when I prayed for the growing baby in my womb, mostly it felt uneventful. I knew mostly what to expect- the baby would look like either me or Clayton or a mixture, attachment never crossed my mind- we are all this child would ever know and we would provide a healthy and loving family.
Adoption is completely different. Our child will look nothing like us, she will come from a country and culture we are not a part of, she will have had a family before us and, most importantly, she will have experienced the loss of that family. Her personality will largely be formed by the time we meet and I will have to become acquainted with her uniqueness- without a frame of reference from which to predict her wants or needs. I will learn to be her mother and she will learn to be my daughter.
My pregnancies were so beautiful in that from the moment I saw these boys, and from the moment they sensed me, we were bonded. It is cosmic, for lack of a better word. God created us to be together and from the moment of conception I had been their mother- protecting them, caring for them, and doing all the things a mother does. Our adoption is also so beautiful- I can hardly think of it without crying. God is all over this!!! It is a picture of His mighty and indefatigable love. Every step I take to get to my child, I am doing it as her mother. Yet, I am not her only mother. And here is where the largest distinction lies. My child is someone else's child too. It is a weird, disturbing, beautiful, amazing feeling for me to know that my child is born of someone else. I pray that if the parents of our daughter are out there in this world, that our Lord will send them peace and a measure of comfort in knowing that their child will be treasured and loved beyond all words.

Mailing Home study tomorrow!!!

Tomorrow I am heading to the beloved UPS store to mail our completed home study to CIS. After that, our paperchasing is down to waiting for the I171-H!! In other words, by the end of April our dossier will be sitting pretty in Addis Ababa and then we begin the wait for our little girl (s). I will need to find something adoption-related to do during that LONG and DIFFICULT wait. Of course, praying for our children and preparing as much as possible for our growing family will be key activities. I am also working on a fundraiser cookbook and I am about to take up sewing (to make girly things and a quilt for our daughter!). That should help...uh, maybe not! :)

Book Review: There is No Me Without You by Melissa Faye Greene

This work chroicles one woman's life as a "rescuer of children" in her homeland of Ethiopia. Her name is Heregewoin Tefarra and she stumbled upon her calling as surrogate mother to hundreds of children who became orphans due to to poverty, AIDS, or other diseases. Melissa Greene visits Ethiopia, and Heregewoin's orphan care home (s), and eventually develops a close relationship with this woman.
There are several strengths of this book which combine to make it a must read for anyone seeking to adopt, especially from Ethiopia. First, Greene's writing abilities are tremendous and she literally "paints" a picture of this country, these people, and these circumstances, with eloquent words. My heart broke, rejoiced, and broke again as she took me through the orphan-to-adoption stories of several children. Another strength is that the author provides insight into the hearts and minds of the children, the caregivers, and the adoptive parents. The questions I found myself asking, such as "How will an older child adjust to a new family after having already had one previously?" and "What about all the horror stories and cautionary advice we've received on the dangers of adopting an older child?", were all answered through the real-life experiences and words of those who had the courage and strength to take those leaps. One of the greatest strengths of this book comes from the author's own truthful account of the situations and circumstances she witnessed. She reveals the good, the bad, and the ugly while still maintaing a compassinate balance. In other words, the people and events in the book are not made to seem super-human in any way. This, I feel, contributes to the authenticity of the book. Greene, herself, has adopted four children from Ethiopia- all of which are older children.
Finally, I must say that the best part of this book for me was the wake-up call I received from the insight into the AIDS crisis in Ethiopia. As a Christian, I can not adequately describe to you how God dealt with us in regard to our comfortable complacency regarding the plight of the orphan, widowed, and oppressed. I am ashamed to admit that I did previously know about the AIDS epidemic, but I frankly did not care much. By care, I mean actually DOING something to remedy the situation- or at the very least alleviate it to a degree. I recognize that no one person, no thousand people, can FIX the AIDS and orphan crisis in Africa. However, as a Christian I can pray for these people, I can tell others about this problem, I can give my time and money to ministries and organizations that are doing the hard work of helping these people, I can go to Africa and help physically and mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. Of course, I can adopt an orphan from this beautiful country and allow God to knit us together as a family. I can allow God to express His love for her and for me and for the world through our family. So, there is so much I can do. This powerful book was used by God to change my life and I pray that you will read it as well and allow Him to speak to you.

Treasures of Ethiopia

This week was very eventful. First, we received the final draft of our favorable home study! It was great, although a little odd that a couple with two children has to go through an approval process to have more children!!! Don't misinterpret my meaning- I know it is absolutely necessary to go through a thorough screening and evaluation process before one is able to adopt. However, I just find it funny that we have been parents for 7 years and we're finally officially approved :) Reading the study actually made me very eager to see my girl and bring her home. It made the whole process seem more REAL.
We also went to Houston for a dual purpose- to visit my family and for Clayton to attend a meeting. We took the boys to the Museum of Natural Science and, to our pleasant amazement, they were hosting a limited exhibit entitled "Hidden Treasures of Ethiopia." We, of course, were thrilled. The artifacts they had were absolutely beautiful. Some of the artifacts were: ancient weapons, jewelry (gorgeous even by today's standards), kitchenwares (bowls, cups, coffee grinder and maker, spoons, etc. which were all intricately detailed), ornamental crosses, ancient copies of the Koran and the Bible, clothing, footware, headdresses, shields, and much, much more! In addition, the exhibit displayed pictures and information on all the country's leaders, Ethiopian art, and a short film which was essentially chronicling the history of Ethiopia while taking a visual tour of the country (my favorite part by far!). They even had "Lucy" the so-called first woman, on display. Those fossils were, of course, found in Ethiopia. They also had a whole exhibit on the secret of the Ark of the Covenant in ET. Very interesting. Unfortunately, they allowed no cameras in the exhibit so I can not give you visual insight. :(
Our daughter's homeland is wonderful and majestic. I can not wait to learn more and then actually visit this country.