Praise God- this was the day!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was the day we’ve been waiting for all this time! It is the day we met our daughter through a picture and small profile chronicling her life. I can not give out any information about Nya until after we pass court and she is officially our child. Until then, I can tell you how absolutely amazing she is. Her smile is unbelievably beautiful, her eyes are breath taking. This post is going to be in two parts: one to my fellow adoptive parents who may be reading this blog and the other to my little girl.
I know that throughout this journey, I have always wondered what it was like to get the call. The fact that I was unprepared to get this call today probably colors my perception, but let me tell you it was nothing like I thought it would be. When I saw the area code of our agency, I knew that they were calling to address some concerns I had written and called them about the week previous. In fact, the sweet lady who was on the other end began the conversation as if she was calling for that purpose. About a minute into the call, she said, “Well, I’d like to address your concerns. But first let me give you some information that may shed a little light on the issue. This is your day! It’s your referral call.” You know how I responded? “Seriously?” :( I had always expected to cry, scream, and generally lose it- but, no, I said “seriously?” :)
After that, the day is a blur. I ran into the front of the house where Clayton and the boys were. I whispered, “This is the call!” It seemed to take forever for the email to get there with her pic and info in it. I made a lot of phone calls while waiting. Finally, we got the email, opened it and saw her. Wow! She blew us away for many reasons that I can’t share yet. But her beauty was one of them! She looks like light.
How does it feel? Man, it is really hard to describe. The love we felt for her instantly seems impossible, but it’s there and so real. I had prepared myself for anything: maybe I won’t feel an instant connection. Maybe the love will grow over time. Those things didn’t happen. A perfect and overwhelming sense of rightness settled in on us. She’s ours. We’re hers. Our God did this. No man can separate it.
Later, I did cry, scream and generally lose it. It was when I was reading her story, the one of her little life. Waves of mother-bear protectiveness washed over me. My child has been through this. Lord, You brought her through. I’m so unspeakably grateful.
A little later, when all our friends and family had been called, we went out to dinner- the four of us- and celebrated the fact that soon we will be five.
Now, I sit reflecting and I can’t believe this has happened. To all of you waiting in the endless adoption waiting room, just hold on! I am telling you it is all worth it. Every bit of it. Every agonizing day, minute, and hour of waiting. All the bitter disappointments, the fearful longing, the burden- when you see your child’s face, you know it was worth it. I thought the pain of the process would all melt away after this day, but it didn’t for me. It lingers. I have decided it’s my badge of honor. I labored for her in my heart and with my God. I was feeling pain simultaneously as she was and I find that fitting and it gives me great peace. The pain drove me to the Lord and He acted on her behalf. It’s beautiful.
To my little girl, Nya: you hold on, baby! We’re coming and nothing will stop us! You’re life is going to be changed forever. Your Father in heaven knows your name and He has been with you from the beginning. He’s what binds us together. Every day we will be with you in our minds and hearts. Only a few short months and I will be holding you and I will not let go as long as there is breath in me. We love you…